Moving!!

I wanted to let all my thousands of readers (all 5 of you - whom I love and adore) that I am officially moving / recreating this blog. Slide on over to http://eruditewoman.com and visit my new digs. Yeah!

Cancer SUCKS

I was standing in my kitchen, cleaning the counters, and talking on the phone with my mom when I found out. She has cancer. Cancer. CANCER. What a gut-punch. What started out as a chronic pain thought to be a muscle inflammation problem ended here. Or maybe this is just the start. Or the start of the end. I don't know.

To be continued....

Post-mortem? Nah. Not so much.

I write here not because I fancy myself to be a pundit or excessively intelligent or somehow able to 'read' the voting public better than others. I write this as much to collect my thoughts as to find others who are on the same page with me.

So, I start with the basic facts. 2010 mid-term elections were a massive loss for the Dems. Historic losses. But we live in historic times. More on this later. But several things stand out to me:

First, the voting population. Like most midterms, it was predominantly white, older, and conservative. And like most midterms, it was less that half of the registered voters who cast ballots. And, despite the overall results, many many people cast votes for Democratic candidates. When you think in those terms, it adds a perspective. It also adds fire, for me, to keep moving forward and to understand the importance of staying on course. We are always going to have different views of how our country should be governed. That is the essence of democracy. You know what else is the essence? Voting. Not punditry, prognosticating, or *shudder* even giving up on the whole process. Voting. That assumes an educated electorate. Cheerleading mantra #1: Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Stay in the fight!!

Second, the narrative IS important. Remember how, after health care reform passed, polls kept coming out showing a majority of Americans against the law? Remember how frustrating it was because the poll results were not getting at the issue? Two things were now know: people were (are) confused about what the bill is truly about, and many of the 'dissatisfied' votes were from people who wanted the bill to go further, to change our system more radically than the bill actually did. Well, I think this is analogous to these election results. Now, before you start screaming, of course there are many who did vote AGAINST Obama specifically and even health care reform specifically. Those are philosophical differences that will always stand. (Hell, we cannot get many conservatives to even say that health care for all is necessary or needed.) We will not ever win that fight with that sub-population of voters/politicians. But back to the analogy: these results can be interpreted as a failure to win the narrative. A failure for Dems, the White House, all of us to get the message out, to state clearly what the bill will do and why it is important. Same analogy for the stimulus. The message was so confused, many voters could not differentiate between TARP and the stimulus, far less make informed decisions about their worth. The lack of Democratic turnout can easily be understood in these terms. Cheerleading mantra #2: go beyond how things are presented to us. Stay informed!!!

Of course, the bottom line is that the economy drove these results. Fox News, et al. were always going to drive the 'Obama is a socialist message' into the ground. That is a given. But if unemployment was down to below 6%, I would not be writing this. I would be writing a smug, snarky post about how much progressive politics RAWK! Ok, not really. After all, this IS still America. For some reason, our populace prefers the label 'conservative' over 'progressive', even when said persons support progressive causes. Sad, but true. Cheerleading mantra #3: I am proud to be a progressive. Woo hooooo!

So, that is the end of my thoughts on Tuesday's midterms. A post-mortem? Not so much.

Feminist Friday - Words

What a coincidence .. the topic of this week's Feminist Fridays is words! Words. We love them, huh?

We sure do. But what about people who misuse our precious words? Like the word 'feminism'. This week, Sarah Palin took to Twitter to pronounce all of us feminists a 'cackle of rads'. She even went so far as to suggest that we hijacked the word feminism. Oh dear, where do I start?

Well, let's start with the ... ummmmm... dictionary, shall we? Here is how Merriam-Webster defines feminist/feminism:

1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

So, I'm going to step out on a limb and say Sarah knows nothing about the women's movement. At all. I mean the sheer nerve of that woman to post something as ridiculous as that on the 90th anniversary of U.S. women's suffrage is galling. But, even if I'm wrong about her lack of knowledge/education/thought-processes, how can Sarah not see that using a misogynistic term like cackle to try to denigrate OTHER WOMEN is everything that feminism is not. Moreover, she did not even use the term properly! Ugh. Plus, since when is the notion of equal rights radical? That is what she thinks of feminists? Double ugh.

It probably comes as no surprise that I do not care for Sarah Palin at all. Some readers could argue that I am not being a good feminist in attacking Palin. I would say to you, wrong you are. If a person works toward equal rights for women, both in word and practice, regardless of who that person is, then I will support them. If someone works against these things, then I will criticize them. That is my right, I believe. Sarah is doing more to hurt the cause of feminism than to help it. I am not aware of anything she has done as a half-term governor or as a full-time paid speaker that has furthered women's causes. In fact, she would have done a service to feminists if she had publicly stated that how she was treated as a vice-presidential candidate was related to sexist attitudes, instead of blaming the liberal media or playing the victim all the time. That is anti-feminism, in my opinion.

Even after all these years of the women's movement, many many people think of feminist as a dirty word or at a minimum they misunderstand what feminism encompasses. That is very frustrating to many of us already. Then to have another woman so blatantly misuse it and try to hijack its meaning is so offensive.

Words are powerful. Feminism is powerful. Words matter. Feminism matters.

A Not-even-remotely-teachable Moment on Dr. Laura

 Signe Wilkinson, Philadelphia Daily News

Once again, some clueless media personality (I use that term loosely), has entered the fray of discussions on race. Once again, there is no lesson being learned.


Dr. Laura, a radio talk-show host, started a firestorm on her show while responding to a caller (full audio & text here). Here is the short version: a black woman in an interracial relationship with a white man called in to discuss her frustration at her partner's lack of sensitivity to what she perceived as racist remarks made in their presence. Dr. Laura asked for an example of what offends the woman, then proceeded to tell the caller that her example was not racist. Dr. Laura then began a rambling rant about race, Obama, black people, elections, and baby elephant poaching. Ok, well, not the last one, but anyway, back to the story. It the midst of her rambling, Dr. Laura repeatedly used the n-word. Her justification/reasoning for doing so was that black people use the word all the time and the word is repeatedly heard on cable TV, in music, etc. The whole incident then went south, with each person yelling over the other, and became a strangely incoherent mix of racial sensitivity, presidential elections, and having a chip on one's shoulder.


Predictably, the furor, buzz, and indignation after the show aired focused almost exclusively on Dr. Laura's use of the n-word. People went nuts because the white woman used the disgusting word. It was cringe-worthy, for sure. But the offensive part, for me, was not simply that she insisted on repeating the word as if to make some point that she could. What was offensive was her simpleton logic of 'others say it, so can I'. I mean, really. This is a grown woman who purports to give out advice for a living. While she is certainly not the first nor the last white person to wonder about use of a racial slur, she is the LAST person to use a justification like that. I absolutely do NOT believe she was attempting to have a conversation about race. 

I was offended that she dismissed the caller's feelings as being overly sensitive. Wait, what? That is your 'professional' advice? Then she makes it seem as if because the caller is in an interracial relationship, she should just get used to hearing offensive stuff. After all, it is all her fault she is so damned sensitive. WOW. Awesome.

Moreover, I was offended that the 'Dr.' pretended not to understand why it was not okay for her to just use a racial slur all willy-nilly like she was just saying 'hydrangeas, hydrangeas, hydrangeas'. Puhleeze. It is about intent people. Intent. A 10 year-old could be taught what intent means. Here is an example for you 'Dr.' Laura:

Teenage daughter to her teenage friends: 'Hey my bitches, let's go to the mall tonight, ok?' 

Dr. Laura to her teenage daughter: 'Honey, you can't go to the mall until you finish your homework.'

Teenage daughter to Dr. Laura: 'Bitch, please. I am going to the mall.'

See? Intent matters. The first bitch was not name-calling, the second bitch most definitely was disrespectful. Now, here is the thing. Dr. Laura knows that intent matters (as do most adults). This tells me that she was being provocative, perhaps in a race-baiting way, perhaps in a ratings-whore way. I don't know. But my point is Dr. Laura saying the n-word is what got everyone talking. Did it start a new 'conversation on race'? Nope. Sadly, there were some teachable things both in the initial conversation she had with her caller and in the fallout. But once again, matters of race, racial sensitivity, interracial relationships, etc. fell by the wayside. 


Now the discussion is either: whether she should be fired or whether what she did/said was perfectly reasonable. Really America? The whole point of a teachable moment is to ... umm .. teach. As per usual, the offending host apologizes, sees the error of her ways, repents, etc. etc. 


Sorry, what was that? You say that, in her apology, Dr. Laura says she was trying to be philosophical? 

Jesus, Joseph, and Mary. Somewhere Socrates just died another death. A not even remotely teachable moment. Sigh.

To Those Looking for Feminist Friday posts ....

Here is something to confuse you ... I post for Feminist Friday on a different blog, even though I use the Twitter account for this blog in my participation in said meme. Yep, I'm confused too.

Here is where I blog for Feminist Fridays (at least for now, I will probably start cross-posting).


p.s. thanks for stopping by anyway.

Feminist Moms UNITE!

cross-posted at TheRantingMommy.com

The lovely blogger Transatlantic Blonde has started a new meme called the Friday Feminist Mom Roundup. I found out about this opportunity quite by accident, but in the way I find out A LOT of news … through Twitter.  The idea instantly appealed to me because 1) I feel pretty strongly about feminism, 2) I am a mom, and 3) feminism has traditionally gotten a pretty bad rap over the years.


Today, I am going to focus on one specific thing that relates to parenting and is a personal pet peeve of mine: gender stereotyping. More specifically gender-role stereotyping (which takes me into the area of psychology-isms, so I will leave it at gender stereotyping). I have some time restrictions today (story of my life), so I will keep it brief.

So here is my rant: it drives me nuts that we box in our children to certain stereotypical behavior, dress, toys, etc. at such an early age. Here are a few of examples that make me twitch:

• Little girls have long (or at least longish) hair and boys have short hair. My 4 year-old daughter already says this. Grrrrrrr. People constantly call my son, whose hair is longish and curly, a girl. It does not bother me in the slightest, but the presumption is silly.
• Girls are supposed to like the color pink, Barbies (another rant for another day), and playing dressing up. Boys are supposed to like playing in dirt, tearing up or crashing things, and bugs. Why? Says who? My daughter likes the color yellow, planting plants, and finding bugs. My son loves to wear my hats, glasses, and sometimes my shoes, does not like his hands to be dirty, and likes playing with his sister's dolls. Why should ANY of that behavior by either of them be even given a second-thought?
• I recently took my daughter with me to the nail salon to get her nails painted, as decidedly 'girly' thing. When we returned, my son whined a little because he wanted his nails painted too. My husband chimed in that 'boys don't paint their nails'. I bristled. Sure that is typically true, but why not just offer to do something else special just for him? Or paint his nails with clear polish?
• This summer, I enrolled my daughter in several different summer camps each with their own themes. There was a princess camp and a super heroes camp. Guess which one they offered her? Boo. She actually OWNS a cape and mask that she uses for dress up. Granted she also owns several princess and ballet dresses too because she LIKES dressing up, but still.

These are but a few. Now, don't get me wrong. I truly believe in celebrating all there beauty there is in being female. Those are lessons I hope to teach my daughter throughout my lifetime. In addition, I think boys should know that being male is special in its own right. And, no, I would not send my son to kindergarten dressed in a princess outfit or with his nails painted purple. But it bothers me immensely that both of my kids WILL go to kindergarten with all these stereotypes imprinted on their brains already. Bugs me. Anyone else?